Little Big Boy

Ellis is growing. I mean, he is growing up. I hate the thought of that most of the time. I used to ask him to promise me that he would never grow up. He usually did but we never have found the secret of never never land.

I've noticed in the last few months that he has started to pull away when I reach out for his hand. Most of the time I'm doing it out of habit, as we cross the street or walk through a parking lot. There are a lot of times that I subconsciously allow him to do these things on his own but it is the time that I do reach for him and he thinks twice of it that I notice. He is growing up.

Today he begrudgingly went on an errand run with me. We stopped for more seeds to replace those the squirrels have found and then made two more stops and finally found him a few new shirts for church. (Like I said he is growing!) it was a glorious hour for me. I'm sure it was mundane for him but it was wonderful for me! We got to talk about what animals he wants to learn about next year in school and how he wants to know something about every cat in the cat family but only needs to know about golden retriever dogs. He told me that he wants to secretly buy his sister a pair of heelys so that he can teach her how to use them. He even showed me the ones he thinks she would like best. All of those moments were great but the thing I'll remember most is that he held my hand more times than I can count I didn't even prompt it. He just reached for it and held on through the store as he talked.

I've decided I'll stop asking him not to grow up. I think now I'll just pretend I don't notice, just like I pretended not to notice his hand in mine. For some reason, for me, it feels like it lasts longer that way, and for him, he seems to forget he is growing up.